My baby is almost 1 year old, but I don’t want to wean anytime soon. My loved ones don’t understand why I would keep breastfeeding. Any suggestions?
There are many benefits to nursing into the toddler years! Unfortunately, anyone who breastfeeds an extended period of time may hear negative comments from someone. It can be especially hurtful if those remarks come from loved ones. Often, these comments come from a place of concern and genuine care for you and your child's well-being.
Sometimes, a thoughtful question, a bit of education, or humor can help change their perspective. If that doesn’t work, it’s okay to be assertive and simply ask that your decision to continue breastfeeding be respected. While you don't owe anyone an explanation for your choice to breastfeed, the following suggestions might be useful.
Responding to Negative Comments & Critical Questions:
Ask & Educate
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- “What have you learned that’s caused you to believe older babies should not be breastfed?”
- “Did you know that the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics both recommend breastfeeding for 2 years or as long as both mom and baby want to?"
- “I’ve done a lot of research on the long-term benefits of breastfeeding; would you like me to share that with you?”
- “Did you know that the United States is BEHIND other countries when it comes to breastfeeding? Moms around the world are breastfeeding their babies well over 2 years.”
- “Breastfeeding continues to benefit my baby and my breast milk is changing to fit her growing needs.”
Lighten it Up
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- “Yep, I will be sure to breastfeed him before his first day of kindergarten!”
- “Hey, it’s free and easy! Pretty sure I will be sending breast milk in mason jars for college move-in day!”
- “My milkshake brings all the babies to the yard!”
- “Sometimes I can’t believe I’ve kept a human alive just by lifting my shirt.”
- “You think it’s weird to breastfeed a baby over 1 year? Tell me more about the cow boob juice in your fridge.”
Be Bold
Making comments about someone else’s parenting preferences is bold, so it's okay to be assertive too, especially if more subtle attempts have been ignored.
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- “Thanks for checking on us, but we’re doing great!”
- “I know you care about us, so please know that I have made a thoughtful decision to continue breastfeeding, and this is what’s best for us.”
- “Your support means so much to me; I’d love it in the area of breastfeeding too.”
- “This is a personal choice that I’ve made; it’s best for us and I’d appreciate it if you'd respect my decision.”
- “When I want your advice on breastfeeding, I’ll be sure to ask. For now, I’ll go with how my baby and I are feeling about it.”
- “How did you choose to feed your baby and for what length of time? Would you have appreciated input from someone else on that?”
- “Does breastfeeding my child offend you? Would you like to go somewhere else until I’m finished?”
- “How I feed my child isn’t up for discussion.”
- “When it comes to breastfeeding MY baby, let's agree to disagree.”
- “Your comments are hurtful, please stop making them.”
Need some motivation?
Hearing negative comments can leave moms questioning whether they are making the right decision to continue breastfeeding their older child. The benefits of breastfeeding for both moms and babies are mind-blowing and often increase the longer a child is breastfed. Click here for some lesser-known, but amazing breast milk facts. Click here for more details on the ingredients in breast milk and what they do for your growing baby. If you’d like, share what you’ve learned with your critics; they just might change their minds and become your biggest supporters!
You’re not alone; several of the peer counselors have used comments like these when responding to criticism. Finding support from other mamas and local breastfeeding groups can help you feel less alone. We hold a monthly Zoom support group that you are welcome to join! Your baby thanks you for your dedication to breastfeed! Fantastic job shaking off the criticism!